Ivan Was Cold
by SquickWrites
Summary: Ivan has got to stop acting like such a child. He needs to fess up to his problems. Wang Yao is NOT coming back. He must take matters into his own hands... Anti-Rochu, slight RussoLiet


**I felt a burning in my forehead. This feeling meant that I wanted to write VIOLENCE, the burning meant that I wanted it to involve FIRE. So I texted Mich like "I WANNA WRITE SOME FRICKEN VIOLENCE! WITH FIYAAAA!"and she said it very simply: "Ivan was cold?" and it just SPAWNED. Originally, this was going to be about my Secret Saturdays OC, but I haven't given her intro yet so it'd be a little tough. (Yeah, Secret Saturdays. Isn't my span just SO WIDE?) So here goes "Ivan was Cold?"**

**~ Otaku =3**

**X.x.X**

It had been almost a week since Yao left. Ivan couldn't help wondering what he was doing. Every time he thought, it was about the Asian man. He could still remember the touch of his silky ebony hair, he saw those caramel eyes whenever he closed his own. It reminded him of what he and Yao had been - what they used to be. And it made him _sick_.

Ivan was his own person, why couldn't he understand that? _Wang Yao was gone and he was __not__ coming back._ Get that through his head. He had to or he just might go insane. But chances are he wouldn't because he knew that Wang Yao was not really gone. Wang Yao was not very far away, actually. You could almost say that Ivan and Yao were neighbors. It wasn't a next door type thing, but they were closer than others. Maybe that was the problem.

Usually when someone betrayed Ivan or simply left him, they would be demolished. It wasn't a personal thing, but it happened. When alliances were made, it was almost undeniable that those in an alliance with you would know certain information. It was dangerous to let someone that knew something just slide away, so they were eliminated. But with Yao… It had been more than an alliance with that country. Ivan would have said that they were friends, but that didn't cover the feelings they shared for each other. That he had for Yao. Ivan had thought they were so close… But in the end, Yao turned his back on him. Ivan was alone again.

Even if it was childish, Ivan spent days in his room. After Yao left, he was so uncertain of what to do with himself. He could barely remember what life had been like without him. Wang Yao had taken up Ivan's days, he had occupied all of Ivan's thoughts. Now everything just seemed so… empty. Life without Yao seemed like a life without actually living, and he couldn't shake the feeling.

He'd gotten ahead of himself. Wang Yao never loved him. It was a one sided love that never had a chance to bloom into a romance. And now it had gone and wilted into a one-sided grief, filled with longing and agony.

**o-o-o**

'_Knock, knock?_'

Ivan's eyes snapped open. A familiar voice had accompanied the knock.

_Who was it… What was his name again? The young man who took care of him…_

Ivan, who had been on the floor leaning against his bed, stood up.

_Baltic. L, it starts with an L… Lie…_

Taking a few steps to the door, he opened it, trying to recollect his thoughts.

"Ah, hello Mr. Braginski. It's good that you opened the door, I would have come in anyway." The brunette's blue eyes and face were smiling, but Ivan could still feel the fear emanating from his person.

Ivan shook his head, putting the vodka bottle just slightly behind his back. "Morning Toris. What are you doing here?" he asked, still immensely confused.

Toris laughed. It was awkward and pinched, but a laugh no less. "Morning? It's nearly three in the afternoon. And you need to drink this." Toris held up the metal tray he had been holding with a single tea cup on it. The liquid inside was brown, looking plain as day. Ivan, who was not in the mood for arguing or really in any shape to do _anything_, simply took the drink and sat down roughly in his old rocking chair in the corner of the room

"Toris. What do you want?" Ivan's voice was suddenly firm as he noticed Toris still standing in the door.

"Oh." The smaller country tried to stop, but assumed his usual shaking as he stepped into the room. "I just wanted to be sure you drank that." Toris continued, as he rocked back and forth on his feet.

Ivan's face scrunched as he stared at the drink, his vision swirling in and out of focus. Still unable to think straight, Ivan took a large sip of the tea… and just as quickly spat it back into the cup.

Setting it on the bedside table, Ivan coughed, trying to remove the taste. "Lithuania what was in that?" he shouted.

Liet flinched at Ivan's tone but stood his ground. "It's an herbal tonic. It'll help you get back in shape. Please drink it all, I would like for us to go out today."

Ivan barely glanced at Toris before staring at his drink. Go out? What was that supposed to mean? Ivan hadn't been out of the house – he'd barely left his room – in weeks. He didn't _want_ to go outside. He wanted to stay where he was and wallow in his own sadness.

But Liet's big blue eyes were piercing into him with a fear that didn't measure up to his ferocity, so Ivan picked up the teacup and tried to wolf down the whole thing.

"Happy?" Ivan pouted, setting the tea cup down. Admittedly, he did feel a bit more aware of his surroundings and wasn't losing focus so very much. "What are you asking me to do Toris?" he asked, tilting back in his chair and crossing his legs.

Toris set the tray down on Ivan's bed and cocked his head slightly. "Mr. Braginski, you haven't been outside for weeks now and you need to get back on your feet." Toris compulsively started to make Ivan's bed. He laughed a bit, less awkward this time. "You are still running a country, after all. So how would you like to go for a walk, huh?"

Ivan's eyes shifted to the window as he stared at a cloud. He didn't want to. He wasn't even ready to stand up, in his opinion. But something about Toris' voice was commanding in an endearing way. So Ivan stood and walked past Toris, through the door and part of the way down the hall.

"Well?" Ivan turned around staring down the empty hall. "Aren't you coming?" he shouted back into his room.

Toris leaned out the door smiling. "Let me finish with the bed and I'll be right there. It's really cold out today, please put your coat on!" and then continued to straighten out the bed sheets.

So Ivan obediently walked into the atrium of his mansion, and opened a closet. Inside were multiple coats, but he instinctively grabbed the tan one that he had become so attached to. As he was pulling it on, Toris came dashing into the room, pulling his own worn and tatter grey coat on.

"Ready to go?" Toris asked, buttoning the garment.

"…Sure." Ivan turned and walked out the door, not glancing at the smaller nation.

**o-o-o**

"…So there wasn't really a reason. Aside from concern of course." Toris pulled his hood over his head, the snow had started to fall down a bit heavier than usual. "Just saying I care I guess."

Ivan laughed heartily at that, stumbling over the man's kind words. "No one asked you to do that. I could very well be sleeping right now…"

"I don't care." Toris walked ahead of Ivan, burying his face in the collar of his coat. "I just wanted to make sure that you felt better is all."

There was a long pause as the two continued to walk before Toris turned and faced the larger man. "Ivan."

The Russian stopped as Toris continued.

"_Why did you care so much about Mr. Yao_?"

Ivan stared at Toris, unsure of what to say about this question. Since when did Toris care about what Ivan thought? It was none of his business whether he cared about Wang Yao or not. This was irrelevant. No one was interested in his life in such a manner.

Toris must have known about this way of thinking, because he wasn't at all surprised when Ivan wrapped a gloved hand around his throat and forced him against one of the trees in the park.

"Toris. Leave the topic be." Ivan commanded.

But the Lithuanian had grown some backbone against his Russian combatant. "I don't know if I can, Ivan. I want to do what's best for you, and ever since Yao left, you haven't been the same-"

Toris was cut off by a powerful slap to the face. A red mark was left behind, and the sting lingered long after the damage had been done. "Toris Laurinaitis, it is not your job to care about me or take care of me. You are my servant, and clearly you've grown too comfortable." His hand tightened around Liet's throat. "Now never speak that name again."

"…I understand, Mr, Braginski." Toris replied, unaware of the tears welling in his eyes.

But Ivan was well aware and hated himself for being the cause. Toris had said himself that he just wanted to do what was best. He didn't deserve to be punished because Ivan insisted on behaving like a child. Ivan wanted to throw tantrums and cry and scream and run away from his problems, and Toris just wanted to be the one there to help.

Ivan's grip suddenly loosened on Toris' throat, and the smaller man's feet made contact with the ground once more as he choked, trying to get his breath back.

"Toris. Go back to the mansion. I've gotten cold, so I must keep moving." Ivan turned from Toris but stood his ground until Toris nodded and began to walk away.

"_By the way, do remind me to buy you a much nicer coat, Mr. Laurinaitis._"

Liet continued to walk away, nodding. Because he knew that this was Ivan's way of apologizing, and that in itself was a very gracious gesture.

**o-o-o**

Raivis couldn't stop shaking at Toris recollection of his walk with Ivan. "Y-you went on a walk with Ivan Braginski and came out unharmed! I-I can't believe that! That kind of thing d-doesn't happen!" he paced around behind Toris who was poking at the fire he had started.

"I'd hardly say unscathed. That's a nasty mark he left on your face, Toris." Eduard commented, shouting from the kitchen.

But Toris just laughed. "Yeah. I guess you're both right. But either way things could have gone worse."

"More importantly though, where is Ivan right now?" Eduard asked, walking to his older brother's side.

"I… don't know. He said he was cold so he left."

Raivis looked at his brother as he stood up. "He was cold so he stayed outside? Where would he go?"

Toris shrugged, staring into the fire. "I'm not sure. But he's definitely doing something important."

**o-o-o**

The fire burned brighter and brighter as it soaked up the oil and gasoline. He had just finished laying out gunpowder around the town, too. Certainly, when the fire reached its mark, the people would go out with a bang.

The screams of Chinese men women and children satisfied him. There. He had finally done something about his immature problems. If Wang Yao was gone there would be nothing left to miss but a couple of ashes. Ivan chuckled lightly, recalling a song that Arthur had once sang as he made his way to the top of a snowy hill for a better view.

"_The fire rises up, and burns it to a crisp. _

_**Enflames**__ it from side to side and burns it all to a crisp. _

_It leaves not a __**trace**__. But burns it to a crisp._

_**Enflames all from side to side, till all is burned to the ground.**__"_

He chanted it, over and over and over again watching the town go up in flames just as the song had said. And Alfred had thought they were summoning the devil. Ivan would proudly wear the title of Angel of Death.

"_Ivan. What have you done?_"

The voice had belonged to Toris but that tone was all too much like Yao's… the pleading and sorrow. The sadness and protection…

"I'm showing you Toris. I didn't care so much about Mr. Yao. He's gone now, and I won't care." Ivan tried to laugh.

But it was drowned out by his own tears of regret.

**X.x.X**

**Oh god AGH. Lol I find it hilarious that I brought up the Angel of Darkness and posting this when Passover starts. Just saying. Two things concern me about this story! That little romance comparing agony and whatnot to a flower…. Agh it bugs me. I feel so unsure about it. Also, in Ivan's drunken state, I'm afraid I totally turned him into Haymitch XD I just finished Mockingjay sooo… relatively inevitable.**

**I actually like this story. I started it last summer and I can see how much I improved, lol.**

**Read, fave and review! Thank you! ((Continue? Maybe?))**

**~Chae!**


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